Grief is part of our human existence. We often run from grief and tend to avoid it at all costs. Why? Because grief is painful. Grief usually comes with the loss of something dear to us. But, who wants to lose something that is dear to them, such as a person’s loved one, someone’s sexual purity, an important job, or even an exciting opportunity?
We need to understand that grief is like a friend who visits us from time to time. The question that lurks in our minds is whether or not we can handle grief when she visits.
Yesterday I partly presided over the funeral of a beloved church member. Then later in the day I received news that the husband of one of another dear sister in Christ from our church family went to be with the Lord. “Good grief!”, I thought to myself, “Why is there so much death all around me today?”
I did catch myself in reflection about my exclamative words. “Is there any goodness in grieving?,” I pondered.
What the Bible Says About Grief
At our church member’s funeral I read the words of Ecclesiastes 3:1–4,
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Notice that juxtaposition of the different types of seasons we experience in life (born/dead, plant/uproot, kill/heal, tear down/build, weep/laugh, mourn/dance. With birth comes much joy, with death comes much grief. Death also brings weeping and mourning, while life’s happy moments much laughter and even dancing.
Every once in a while someone asks me, “Do you prefer officiating weddings or funerals?” As a pastor I have the privilege of presiding at both these occasions when they arise. Weddings are full of laughter, dancing, joy, and happiness, while funerals are the opposite. I have presided over many weddings and funerals. However, I cannot definitively say I prefer one versus the other.
Weddings and funerals both have something in common for me: reflection. At weddings I reflect about my own marriage. I often leave weddings thankful for my marriage. I am also challenged to be a better husband to my wife. At funerals, I reflect on life’s fragility. I reflect on how I am spending my time and whether or not I’m making most of the time the Lord is giving me. I also take time to cry. Death is painful.
But the good thing about grief is that God meets us in our most desperate moment. In fact, he promises to comfort us. Jesus said in Matthew 5:4, ““Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Whether one is mourning over sin, emotional distress, or a significant life loss, Jesus stands ready to comfort us.
Jesus is ready to comfort us in our grief because he too experienced grief and sorrow. Isaiah 53:4 says, “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” Jesus knows grief, and he stands ready to offer us comfort. We need to remember that, especially when experiencing grief in the present.
If grief is at your door, do not turn her away. Welcome her in, knowing that she will not stay forever. Grief can help bring us closer to one another. It can also help us adjust our priorities, thought life, goals, and aspirations. Grieving allows us to reflect on what matters most in life. As the old adage goes, “You don’t know what you got until it’s gone!”
Hope in the Midst of Grief
Death will come knocking at your door sooner or later. It may knock at the door of someone closer to you. Do not lose heart! Christ offers us hope! He died too! But that is not the whole story, because he also rose from the dead conquering it once and for all! 1 Corinthians 15:56–57 states, “The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Prior to these verses the apostle Paul quotes from the prophets stating that the sting of death has ended, it was swallowed up in victory! This victory is provided to us by Jesus. Grief over death is only temporary. But the salvation Jesus provides us is eternal! This is the reason why the apostle Paul writes,
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as those who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep – 1 Thessalonians 4:13–14
We do not grieve as “those who have no hope.” Just as Christ was raised from the dead, one day we will experience joy forevermore. No more grief, no more pain, no more sorrow awaits those who believe in Jesus.
There is a future promise reserved for God’s faithful ones,
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. – Revelation 21:4
Until then, let us grieve when we have to. But not without hope. God is good even in our grief. He can bring goodness out of our grief, because his love is exponentially greater than our temporary earthly suffering! Do not lose heart!
Written by Daniel Messina
To read another one of my articles click here: https://pastordanielmessina.com/does-your-heart-break/
