Yesterday I was privileged to preach on the topic of anger. As I was thinking about the reality of anger, I was reminded of a spoof interview between Dr. Phil and Madea (Tyler Perry). The dialogue goes like this:

Dr. Phil: Madea, why do you get so angry? Madea: I don’t get angry! Somebody do something to me I do something to them, that’s just common sense. Dr. Phil: So you believe in getting even? … Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta “get” somebody all the time? Madea: Well when you gettin’ “got” and somebody done “got” you and you go “get” them, when you get ’em everybody’s gon’ get got. Dr. Phil: Yea but you’re gettin’ the gotters when they didn’t do anything to even get you. Madea: Yea, but if the gotters get me I’m gonna get my glock!

Their interaction is comical. But it certainly speaks to the heart of our human bent toward retribution. If someone does something wrong toward us, they should pay for it! Dr. Phil’s question “So you believe in getting even?” is simply something we are all too familiar with. Often times when someone does something to unnerve me, my first reaction is to pay back evil for evil.

Anger is a common human feeling. Anger as an emotion can be brought about by sadness, hurt, frustration. Anger is simply manifests itself as a direct feeling response. Anger can happen extemporaneously, or it can grow over time. For instance, you can become angry immediately when someone hits you in the face! Or your anger can grow overtime toward a certain people group, ideology, or worldview. But as believers we must be careful not to let anger control us.

The Apostle Paul offers us great wisdom in dealing with anger. He writes in Ephesians 4:26-27: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” Note that is is okay to become angry. However, we are given three stern warnings about anger: Do not sin, do not let it fester, and beware of the devil who wants to use your anger against you. Aristotle wisely states, “Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”

The apostle James (1:20) also wrote, “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” Now that is just not easy! (to quote Aristotle). Note that he too does not say we cannot get angry. But rather, that we must be slow to anger, bringing our anger under God’s submission.

So how do I know my anger is sinful? I have pinpointed 4 main ways: 1) When you demean someone’s character, 2) When your anger turns into abusive behavior, 3) When you seek revenge on someone for a wrong committed against you, and 4) When go act in contradiction to Christian values.

Paul further writes in Ephesians 4:29-32: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Anger can be manifested physically, as people seek to inflict pain unto each other. Or anger can manifest itself in the form of destructive words. Instead of building others up with our words, we tear them down. Instead of encouraging others, we demean their character when angry. Instead of honoring God, our anger turns into something the devil uses against us. Uncontrolled anger simply put is just not beneficial. How many people are in prison today because of uncontrolled anger? I would venture to say the great majority! Mark Twain reminds us: “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Our ultimate goal in life is to glorify God and enjoy him forever! We must at all costs seek to live in a way that honors God in all things. Let us never forget what God’s Word tells us: ” … the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” May the Lord help us live under his authority and not be controlled by our anger!

Written by Daniel Messina